My mom visits me once a month. This is my fifth time here. I’ve been in and out. I was off paper for two years. I was twelve when this first started. I was charged with assault for defending myself against my step mom. I’m a drug addict with a run record. I have a hard time staying in one place. Normal is not normal to me. When I take responsibility I get overwhelmed. I’ve been to drug and alcohol detox twice as an inpatient, once as an outpatient. They’re all great but I was not in the right mind to take it. I was 10 when I started with marijuana. I don’t think it’s bad, but I personally can’t handle it. I’ve been doing heroin and alcohol. I do lots of thefts for my expenses…bikes, cars, houses. For a long time I took pride in not prostituting. My last relapse, I started prostituting on my own. This commitment is for selling. This arrest is for PV and using and running. I been here over three months. I’m going into a transition program. I hope I can step up to the YWTP. My mom and dad were both alcoholics. They owned a bar. I was left alone a lot. When I got a taste of a social life, I was resentful that I couldn’t join. My mom was drunk when she found me on the street. I had run away. She attacked me and wouldn’t let go. I punched her in the face. It wasn’t that hard, but when she appeared in court a month later, she still had an ugly bruise. I think she did it to herself. When I was taken into custody for 28 days, I was in shock. I didn’t consider the crime, I was uneducated and had poor representation. My stepmom and dad divorced. I’ve seen my dad twice in the past six or seven years. I haven’t lived with my mom for a long time. My mom rents a room at a home, so it’s not comfortable for me to stay with her. Mom’s a recovering alcoholic who’s three years sober. First time I was here for a year. Second time seven months, third time three months, fourth time nine months. Now I’ve been here three and a half months. I dropped out of school almost right away, like sixth grade. I’ve been doing school since I was locked up. I have my GED and I am working towards my diploma. I want to be a certified nurse assistant and I want to study welding. I got third prize in a poetry competition; my poem was called “Split Personality.” It’s about my addiction and me as an addict versus the polar opposite, me sober. I got it published in the paper. Me and my fiancé both write poems. He’s in prison. He’s 37. I was on the street and coming down off LSD, he rode up on his bike and came back later with blankets and food. We camped together; we were both in active addiction. We stole for support. He encouraged me to get my shit together. We’ve been together four years. I was 14 when I met him. He was 33.
-B.X., age 18